Connor Gleason ‘24, played basketball from childhood, then made the Concordia Golden Eagles team as a walk-on. But when he stepped onto the court for his first college game, he felt crippled by a sudden fear of failure.
“As soon as I checked in, my heart was beating rapidly,” he remembers. “Despite all the work I’d put in, I felt I could not do it. That really bothered me and showed in my play.”
He immediately threw two turnovers and “just wanted to leave the game and run away from the things that were scaring me,” he says.
For weeks after that, he woke up anxious and went through his days with a “sickening feeling” inside.
But instead of avoiding the problem, he decided to face it- by starting a podcast to interview people who had overcome their own anxieties. So was born “Thru It All.”
“The goal of the podcast was to find people I could ask questions of and come to some conclusions,” Gleason says. “I talked to as many as I could- psychologists, my friends who are like mentors, coaches, and a bunch of other people that had gone through the same things. I was never afraid to ask questions because I knew I was always going to learn.”
His first guest was his own father who, in his college days, had faced a similar moment. Recruiting to play golf, Gleason’s dad lost confidence in his ability to play and took a break from the sport. He came back to re-earn a spot on the team and, after graduating, even played an amateur match against a young Tiger Woods, taking him to overtime.
“My dad is my hero, so I started with him,” the younger Gleason says. “He has an inspiring story that has motivated me a lot throughout my career as a player.”
With a simple recording setup, Gleason interviewed guests on 39 different episodes conducted in places as diverse as empty Concordia classrooms, a boxing gym, and his home garage. His interviewees all shared stories of challenges which forced them to change.
“I asked questions like, How did you navigate fear, anxiety and doubt?” Gleason says. “When it got scary, what did you tell yourself? How did you continue on your path when things in your environment were telling you to stop? Then I listened to what they were saying. It was really cool to experience the perspectives of people from all walks of life.”
What Gleason — a 5’10” point guard from Capistrano Valley, who is now in his fifth year with the Golden Eagles and earning his MBA at Concordia — ultimately realized was that he had taken on-court success for granted because of the amount of work he devoted to it.
“I felt entitled to outcomes because I spent so much time practicing my game,” he says. “I thought [good results] would fall upon me, so I felt very stressed trying to figure out, why is this happening to me? How can I get better?”
The podcast interviews showed him he had been “trying to process internally but didn’t have the tools,” he says. “I had felt so alone, but the more I talked about it, I realized everybody goes through life with the same emotions, and voices of doubt and fear. I realized we’re all connected, and I just need to ask questions.”
The “curse” he felt he might be under instead became a blessing “because it opened a path I didn’t know existed,” he says.
A main lesson he took from the conversations pertained to trusting his heart and maintaining a calm sense of confidence in God-given abilities.
“There were times in my basketball career when I had an unwavering charisma toward the game, then certain situations came along when all I wanted to do was fold and run away,” he recalls. “But I knew it was ultimately up to me if it takes away my light, my excitement for the game, the love I have, the truth I understand about where I’m at. My belief shifted — the belief I could do it regardless of what came up.”
Voices of doubt and fear still come calling, but “now I have the tools to keep choosing the right processes and focusing on the right things,” he says. Connor uses his experience and what he’s learned from his podcast interviews to influence his teammates and classmates.
“Connor embodies all the things that make a great Golden Eagle,” says Brittany Pereda, senior woman administrator for CUI Athletics. “He is resilient, has an unmatched work ethic, is a man of faith and integrity, is driven, an avid learner, a competitor, and elevates everyone around him both on and off the court. He grew into an outstanding leader among his teammates and peers and has a remarkable influence on the athletics department and our campus because of his kindness, acceptance, and care for others.”
After 18 months and three dozen episodes, Connor felt the subject was well-explored, and moved on to another interest: creating clothing and extending the Thru It All brand even further, using entrepreneurial skills Concordia helped develop in him.
“I majored in business and finance and had phenomenal professors,” he says.
“You could tell they really cared and wanted us to know what it takes to be successful in the world. That was my favorite part — that the professors cared about us as people rather than just as students.”
Connor’s business professors recognize that his work ethic and experiences have positioned him for future success: “Business faculty have high expectations for Connor. He values his business education and has taken full advantage of the opportunities at Concordia, balancing academics and athletics while starting up his own company and helping lead the International Business Club,” says Kit Nagel, professor of business.
As Gleason finishes his MBA and his last season on the college court, he knows he can win in any circumstance, no matter how difficult it may seem.
“You can always learn from people,” he says. “Everything is a teacher.”